Smashingly Melissa: My Rock of Gibraltar

When people describe me there are a lot of things they mention: lover of wine, overly obsessed with her dog, teases her hair too much, has a short attention span, etc. But the most important thing I would say that defines me is that I am a daughter to an amazing woman.

A little over two years ago I lost her to a beast known as Ovarian Cancer. I still can't fathom the fact that she's gone and I'm still angry as hell about it. We still had so much more to do and to see together. Not to mention, she couldn't wait to be a grandmother.

I was on the phone with one of her best friends just the other day and she kept saying I can't believe we lost our Rock of Gibraltar. I looked up Rock of Gibraltar in Wikipedia and it reads that it was one of the Pillars of Hercules and despite long sieges it seemed that there was nothing that could destroy the Rock or its people. This history has inspired the saying "solid as the Rock of Gibraltar", which is used to describe a person or situation that cannot be overcome and does not fail.

In thinking about it, Rock of Gibraltar describes my mom to a "T". My mother was a true original, a trailblazer, a firecracker. She was the hero, confidant, supporter and, “go to girl” for everyone around her.

As I continue to write on the blog, I was thinking I would mix in posts about her. Funny stories that I want to remember or what I want people to know about her, or just reasons why I love her.

Here's Gibraltar: She Did It All With Grace

Regina did everything with grace. Whether it was making sure she had my husband's favorite foods always on the menu, setting the Thanksgiving table 3 weeks early, or when we brought her home with a terminal diagnosis and her insistence that her bed be positioned in front of the Christmas Tree so she could enjoy the lights.

When I was little I can remember my mom bringing home 2 sisters from time to time who were in her 3rd grade class to spend the weekend with us. The girls were poor and lived in a bad neighborhood...I'm talking they would hear bullets at night. My mom gave them one-on-one tutoring and made sure they were fed with some "new" outfits and toys to take home by the time the weekend was over.

She planned my wedding from start to finish and loved every second of it. She learned how to cut corners and DIY in order to stay on budget, yet still make it look as elegant as ever. She was especially proud of the cake lady she found that agreed to design and make a sandcastle inspired cake for only $250. She was also so proud of my wedding dress, which she found for me. She watched the JCrew online catalog like a hawk and we ended up getting a steal of a deal on it. Marked down to $75 from $1500. It was just perfect.

I must say her voicemails were not as graceful though. When I missed her call she would leave a message stating that this was my mother (as if I didn't realize it was her by the sound of her voice or her cell number) and would ramble on about whatever it was she was calling about. She'd say about 8 goodbyes and I love you's then I'd hear a thunk because she'd accidentally dropped the phone in her car.

From the way she raised me and my sister, to the way she loved my dad, to the way she left this world---she did it all with grace.